People who should be Punched in the Face

The following is the list of People who should be Punched in the Face. This list is made from personal experiences - my friends', colleagues' and mine.

1. Glen - Because he keeps talking about KFC Krushers but never gets us one. And because he says '3 hairs'.

2. Women who move their arms like orchestra conductors in crowded trains - elbowing people's eyes out.

3. People at work who don't do any work and keep claiming that they have a lot of work but no work is ever done by them and in the rare scenario that it is done, it is done so late that the point of doing that work is lost.

4. Salon people who charge you 3 figure fees for 15 and 30 min services and then tell you that these are not effective and that you should have gone for the 4 figure 90 min service.

5. People who steal your brand new cellphone in the train!!!

6. Rickshaw drivers who do not want to go to the destination that you have to reach urgently even if that means they circle the same road looking for other passengers.

7. Bus conductors who'd rather have you get off the bus than give you change for Rs.100.

8. People who are, quote - "kalank on mards". This quote was made by Glen, no.1 in the list. (Peace, Glen!)

9. People who talk too much. The so called Wind-bags.

10. People who spit like an irrigation sprinkler while talking too much. Water Kingdom wind-bags.

11. Guys who go sit next to Ronald Mcdonald to 'chit-chat' with each other right when you want to go take a picture with Ronald.

12. People who ruin other people’s Happy Buddays. That’s just mean, man. (have received suggestion that shovel be used instead of a punch in such cases.)

Addendum - 31 July 10:15 pm - 13. People who comment about punching the commendable composer of this punchy post.

Please feel free to comment about who You want to Punch in the Face and Why.

This is what you mean to me…

A big hello and welcome back to my handful of readers. (I’m writing after forever thanks to a frustrating Computer/Internet problem.)

I have always wondered if things mean what we think they mean. I, for one, have different ideas with regards to certain words. And I feel that some words Should have a different meaning – one that would be more appropriate to the idea the word conveys.

So here is my list of could-be’s and should-be’s:

Key to Affy’s Dictionary:
e.g 1. Word (original term)
          WAT ( What Affy Thinks it does/should mean)

1. Abnormal (adj)
WAT– a person with a normal sized stomach (i.e. no pot belly )

2. Blog (noun)
WAT– Bakwass karne wale LOG (need I say more? I don’t but I would still like to add   something more to this definition that I would like you all to know which may not be important but I feel its my duty to share it with you anyway...blah blah…) 

3. Bonus (noun)
WAT – mispronunciation of Bones = leftovers = nothing.

4. Fortress (noun)
WAT – fort rest – a place to rest before you go out (for war etc) 

5. Strait (noun)
WAT - the gay spelling of straight

6. Telepathy (noun)
WAT – the ability to identify pathetic people from a distance (wish it was real)

7. UFO (abbr)
WAT– Under Financial Obligation (thus I make up alien stories to get attention and maybe money too..anything that works)

8. Universe (noun/adj)
WAT - UniWorse – the single most worst thing ever

9. Vampire (adj)
WAT – Villainous Umpire (ref. Steve Bucknor vs Sachin Tendulkar)

10. Vuvuzela (noun/adj)
WAT – annoying piece of shit

11. Windbag (adj)
WAT – a person who farts too much (either from the mouth or the ass :P)

Let me know if you agree with any of these or if you have any of your own!