Pet(ty) Peeves

Foreword: This post was written on a 'bad' day but there's something about that frustrated tone of voice in there that I like. So I have decided to keep it as it is. With minor additions.

Ok so I am in a foul mood. Just had a long workday. Am really tired. And I feel like lashing out at all the irritating, annoying people that I would otherwise tolerate or ignore. No, I don't want to punch these people in the face. Just probably stare at them in disbelief, shake my head and ask them to stop. The irritating thing. Maybe raise my voice (a little) while asking them that.

Here they are in random order:

1. Some twitter users - I am relatively new to an active twitter life. Still looking to make my ground and finding the right people to follow. In the process, I have, and am, following some annoying people. Some of them are serial retweeters - they retweet anything. And everything. You tweet about how you like XYZ something. Ok, cool. And maybe someone replies to you and agrees with you. You know, a generic reply. The world won't be missing anything if they didn't know someone replied to you. But. You retweet their reply. Why? I wonder. Why! To show us that someone else agrees with your choice? *cough* desperate *cough*. Please don't clog my timeline with such retweets.

2. Girly girls - I am a girl. You are a girl. I behave normally. Why don't you? Why do you leave your hair open and preen it a million times a minute? If you can't handle your loose hair, tie it up! Why are you so irritatingly obsessed with pink? I like pink too. But I am not obsessed. I don't have pink shoes, a pink phone, pink hairband, pink nail paint, pink pencil, pink eraser, pink lipstick... I just have a pink top I like to wear. But you give me a bad name.

3. The workaholics - Wow, you stay late at work usually and are ok with it. Wow, you don't like or dislike a task because it has to be done no matter what. Wow, you find 'more difficult' work a welcome challenge.  Please take your bull-excrement and place it with pressure where the sun light does not reach.

4. Holier-than-thou - You're more religious than me. You're religious.You say your prayers and do your holy duties. You know more about religion than I would bother to find out. Good for you. But don't think for one second that it gives you the right to preach to me, you religious vampire!

Epilogue: Reading this on a 'good' day, I see the funny side. Hope it makes me for someones reading pleasure, apart from mine. 

CAKEISM - yes, you read that right.

An assortment of pastries - courtesy yourdailychocolate.com 

Tired of your same old boring religion? Need a change? Something new and fresh to believe in? No need to fear. Just pre-heat your oven and read on.

On a regular workday in office, I had a revelation. I was thinking about Life and the Universe (I didn't have time to think about Everything). And One word just passed through my mind. Cake. And I realised how awesome and indispensable cake is. It's there at weddings and parties. Birthdays and some funerals. It's the symbol of celebration (usually) and now it is it's turn to be celebrated and revered.

I introduce to you all - Cakeism. The cult that worships Cake. Our slogan: Sabka Maalik Cake. (You don't own Cake, the Cake owns you) and May the Cake be with you.

To become a Cakeist, the following apply:

1. Worship cake. You have the freedom to make your own ritual. Then eat it.
2. Questions about the composition and recipe of life, the universe and everything? Ask your Cake maker!
3. 22nd Jan will be an International public holiday. Much like a Sabbath. You only eat cake and do nothing. (cos that happens to be my birthday, y'all!)
4. Have Cakely meetings. Meet up with fellow Cakeists where everyone brings cake. Worship the cake, pay your respects to it and then share and eat. Cake is for all.
5. Don't take the Cake's name in vain.
6. Cake needs no cause or reason. But if you have a cause worth protesting for, what can be better than doing so with cake for company? Fasting is for old geezers.
7. Cake by itself can get lonely. Some ice-cream with it won't hurt! Or Potato chips on the side.

Cakeism is about enjoying life and sharing the good times with your near and dear ones. But what if you're going through a rough patch instead? Think about that rich, fluffy, chocolaty (butterscotchy, pineappley, vanillaey or whatever you fancy) cake. You are beginning to feel better already, aren't you? And you know what, we also completely understand if you don't want to share. It's Cake after all! If you do adopt Cakeism (how can you not?), do share some of your cake rituals. I'd be very interested to know.